Kuphatikana - ziri ... Kodi ubwenzi maganizo? Chikondi kapena chikondi?

Anthu sangakhale popanda kudzimva kukhala munthu wa moyo wa munthu wina. Tiyenera tonse kumva wokondedwa, zofunika. Aliyense amafuna kumawasamalira iwo anasonyeza chidwi oona mtima. Chikondi - ichi ndi chimodzi mwa maonekedwe a chikondi. Aliyense akudziwa kuti tanthauzo la umoyo amachokera zosowa chikomokere kukhala munthu koyenera.

Nkhaniyi mafunso chiyambi cha zikamera za ubwenzi. Mwina m'nkhani ino kuthandiza munthu kumvetsa mmene zinthu zimakhalira zovuta ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi, mwana, makolo, ndi kusankha mwanzeru.

tanthawuzo

Chikondi - ndi kufunika kwa chikondi cha munthu wina. Kodi timayamba osati kungoyembekezera kusonyezedwa ofanana chikondi kumbali yathu, koma ngakhale kukwiya, awukali, pamene cholinga si munthu wathu. Iwo amaopa osatetezeka munthu amene sadziwa kufunika kwake. Ubwenzi munthu zoona, kumavumbulanso mmene zathu kwa nokha ndi moyo. Iwo anaona kuti zambiri munthu akonda mwini, kupatula iye akuona kufunikira ena. Kuti ndi kukondabe kwambiri - nthawi zonse n'chimodzimodzi ndi mavuto, kusadalira luso lawo ndi mphamvu.

Kodi kumverera uku?

Chiyambi cha mawonetseredwe aliyense wa mavuto nthawi zonse amapezeka mwana. Ngati munthu wamkulu kwambiri akuvutika mu moyo popanda pamaso pa mwamuna kapena mkazi mwana ndi mantha kupatukana makolo awo, ndiye kuti pali vuto. Mwinamwake pamene anali mwana, makolo sanam'patse chidwi chokwanira. Ndipo tsopano iye akuyesera kuti zoperewerazo nedolyublennosti izi, kuyesera kuti tikhale oyenerera aliyense amene kungakhale kokha: theka lachiwiri, daze wake. Koma kuchotsa izi sizingasinthe ndi kupita kwa nthawi: zonse zichitike nthawi, ndi chikondi kwambiri. Nkofunika kupita mu magawo onse a chikondi pang'onopang'ono, kotero mulibe kusokoneza ubale, osati kuwonjezera madandaulo zosafunika ndi kusamvetsetsana.

cholinga chopweteka pa munthu kumalepheretsa kukhalapo, mapangidwe tsogolo, kumathandiza kukula munthu. Ubwenzi munthu nthawizina kungapondereze zofuna zawo, izo zimatipanga ife kufunafuna njira kupulumutsa ubwenzi. Simufunikanso kwambiri "kutenga sanakonde amphamvu" m'pofunika kukhala ndi danga kuti mudzakhale ndi kulola ena kumanga pa tsoka la anu.

Bowlby ndi chiphunzitso kuphatikana

Asayansi British apeza amitundu inayi kutengera za kukula sungathe kukhala popanda munthu winayo. Dzhon Boulbi kwakukulukulu ankaona ubale mayi ndi mwanayo, koma chitsanzo ichi ndi zothandiza mu kuwala kwa mogwirizana kwa akulu ndi mzake. Yoyambirira chikondi anaitana otetezeka. Kwenikweni ake ali motere: ubwenzi akwaniritsa malire oyenerera pakati pa akuluakulu ndi zofuna za mwanayo. Makolowo sakufuna kungapondereze chizindikiro cha mwana wake polola kuti athe kukula, kupeza chidziwitso kutero. Ine ndiyenera kunena, mtundu wa kuphatikana ndi zaphindu koposa zonse, chifukwa samaletsa chitukuko sayambitsa mavuto.

Nkhawa ndi kupeŵa khalidwe mzere umaonetsa kudalira wa mwana makolo limapanga zokumana nazo kwambiri pa nkhani ya kupatukana kwa iye, sizilephereka ngakhale kwa nthawi yochepa kukhala ndekha. Maganizo kuphatikana ndi wamphamvu kwambiri. Chifukwa chakuti makolo limasonyeza kutengeka pang'ono, mwanayo mantha kufotokoza maganizo awo mokweza, pali mantha chikondi. Kukhala achikulire, ana awa m'mavuto ndithu kumanga ubale munthu ndi wochezeka, chifukwa nthawi zonse amaona kuti si zosangalatsa ena, imbaenda ankatsutsa tanthauzo lake.

Wapawiri-kukana udindo wasonyeza mantha aakulu a zosadziwika. Munthuyo amaika zopinga mu njira wodzilamulira chidziwitso ndi kudzikonda kusintha. Kukayikakayika komanso manyazi ndi chifukwa cha maphunziro ana, pamene makolo sakuzindikira nyota zoonekeratu mwana, osati ankamuchemerera kwa mtima wake, kotero iye anakhala amanyazi kwambiri.

Dezorganizatsionno womwe malo zikuphatikizapo onse zizindikiro zakumwamba, ndipo amakhala ndi zochita malinga, zolakwa wamba, kupanda kuzindikira mfundo zawo, mantha, compulsions. Bowlby a kuphatikana chiphunzitso limasonyeza chiyambi cha zodabwitsazi, monga Chowawa maganizo kudalira munthu wina. kuchita zimenezi nthawi zonse zowononga maganizo.

Chikondi kapena chikondi?

Pamene chikondi chimakhala chomwa? Ali mzere umene umawalekanitsa ndi mgwirizano weni weni anthu amene amayambitsa munthu kuchita ntchito ya kupemphapempha? Kuti funso ili si kosavuta monga Zingaoneke koyamba.

Zovuta kwambiri anthu onse ali. Chikondi, kaya akhale, nthawi zina kubweretsa mavuto aakulu.

Pokopeka zonse ayenera bwenzi anamutsimikizira mu chikondi chake chosatha, anasonyeza mwachikondi wachikhalire ndiponso kukhulupirika. Ngati izo sizitero, kuyamba chikaiko, kukayikirana, zoona atamunamizira, nsanje. Izi zimachitika chifukwa anthu samadziwa kwambiri ndekha ndi kumene ndikukayikira zambiri kukonda mu mtima wanga. N'zoona kumverera womasuka ku zofuna za nkhani wodzikuza ndi mantha. Chikondi akufuna kupereka palokha, akuwonetseredwa mu wachikondi ankhaninkhani wokondedwa ndi sikutanthauza kanthu kubwerera pa nthawi yomweyo.

Kodi kuzindikira ubale zilakolako zoipa?

Kupweteka kuphatikana - nthawizonse ndi zochepa kudziona chithunzi. Anthu kuganiza kuti iwo samakonda, koma kwenikweni alibe chidwi mwa iwo okha, sagwiritsa ntchito mwayi umene akanatha atachoka kwa iwo, kubweretsa mlingo watsopano chitukuko. Munthuyo anali mu mkhalidwe chikondi pachimake, kuona nokha monga munthu. Chifukwa anafuna ndi zina kukwaniritsa sewero chake pa chikondi.

Ndi uzingopitirira. Nthawi zambiri limagwiritsa ntchito mawu akuti: "Sindingathe kukhala popanda inu." Pankhaniyi, inu nthawi zonse ndikufuna kuti ndikufunseni: "Kodi mungatani kuti mukwaniritse ku msonkhano ndi wokondedwa wakeyo? Kodi languished, anapirira njala ndi ozizira? ". Ngakhale ngati ngongole munthu weniweni, muyenera kuphunzira kukhala paokha, kuti kumva ngati kapolo moyo wake onse.

zotsatira zoipa

Ife kale asanaganize mmene kwambiri kuphatikana ungatilepheretse kukula munthu. zochitika zoipa monga kusadalira ndi kudziyang'anira - ndi zotsatira zokambirana. Ndipo ndi chiyani chikuchitika? Umunthu atayika mu otaya mantha awo, ndipo panthawi ina izo basi kumakhala kovuta kuti apite patsogolo. Ndipo izo zonse akuyamba ndi kudana naye. Ngati munthu angathe kuganiza za umoyo wawo, kudzikonda maphunziro, moyo wake amasintha kwa bwino.

Mmene tingagonjetsere chikondi unrequited?

Chotero tsoka ndi, nthawi zambiri izo comprehends amene sanaphunzire azindikire zawo. Ngati anthu awa anapatsidwa mayeso amene ayenera kupeza chizindikiro awo otayika, kuphunzira kudziwa zinthu zofunika kwa iwo.

Ngozi zambiri okonda chidwi mmene kuchotsa kuphatikana, amene akukamba kanthu koma mavuto? Nsonga pano sikungakuthandizeni, m'pofunika kudutsa kupweteka kwa mabuku, monga chimaswa mtima wanga awiri. Pamene misonzi adzauma, anthu azindikira kuti, ndipo sanali kwenikweni, koma iwo ankaganiza, chifukwa moyo popanda sewero anali kanthu kudzaza. Zonse muyenera kuchita - ndi kupeza latsopano raison d'être.

N'chifukwa chiyani kuli kofunika kuti wekha?

Mokwanira kuzindikira za kudzikonda - chinsinsi bwino kuchita chilichonse. Kukonda nokha zambiri ubwino, ndipo koposa zonse, wamphamvu mkati pachimake. Ndiye, chirichonse chimene chimachitika, munthu adzadziwa kuti vuto zingathe kuthetsedwa, pali ngoziyo lonse, omwe sakanakhoza kudzudzulidwa. Umunthu chabe asadzakhale indetu, pamene angathe kutenga udindo zonse zimene iye.

Choncho, ubwenzi kuvulazidwa ndi anthu ena - uyu si chizindikiro cha chikondi cholimba, koma chifukwa cha zolakwa lalikulu, zosiyidwa mu mapangidwe ankadzionetsera. Ndi moyo wosangalala, kukhala pawokha, kupeza ufulu mkati. Ndiyeno yekha n'zotheka kugwa m'chikondi weniweni.