Ndemanga zosankhidwa za makolo

Kulera ndi chitukuko cha ana ndicho chigawo chachikulu cha moyo kwa munthu wamba. Anthu ambiri amawona tanthauzo lapadera pakudzipereka okha kwa ana aamuna ndi aakazi, kupitiliza mtundu wawo. Ndemanga zonena za makolo zimatsindika kufunika kosafunikira kwenikweni kwa chiyanjano cha banja ndi banja. Pali lingaliro pakati pa anthu kuti palibe amene angakhale wosangalala yekha. Chomwe bambo ndi amayi amatipatsa ife chimaikidwa mozama mu chikumbumtima ndipo chimakhudza moyo wonse wotsatira . Mavesi okongola okhudza makolo amasonyeza ulemu kwa anthu akumeneko, chikhumbo chochita chinthu chofunikira ndi chofunikira kwa iwo.

Ana ambiri akuluakulu amayamikira kwambiri bambo ndi mayi. Ndemanga za makolo, zomwe zafotokozedwa m'nkhani ino, zimathandiza kumvetsa kufunika kwa banja kotero, ndi cholinga chodziwitsira mgwirizano.

"Kuti mulerere bwino mwana, pitani njira yake, sitepe ndi sitepe" (Josh Billings)

Chitukuko chirichonse chimayamba ndi cholinga chodzipereka chopatsa mwana wanu zabwino zonse. Nthawi zambiri makolo amaiwala kuti mwana wawo, atabadwa, ali kale munthu. Lemekezani umunthu wake, adzisankhire yekha, apange chisankho chofunikira. Chikhumbo chochita chirichonse kwa mwana, monga lamulo, sichimatha ndi chirichonse chabwino. Ndikofunika kukhala naye pambali, koma panthawi yomweyi yolani wina apange zolakwa zake. Apo ayi, sizingatheke kuti muphunzire maphunziro ofunikira, pezani mfundo zomveka bwino.

Mawu okhudza makolo ali ndi choonadi chosasinthika ndipo ndi ofunika kwambiri. Mukawawerenga kamodzi, simungaiwale mawu awa anzeru. Mu nthawi zovuta kwambiri za moyo, iwo akufuna kubwereranso.

"Chovuta kwambiri kwa bambo ndi kuzindikira kuti mwana wamwamuna kapena wamkazi wayamba kale" (Bill Cosby)

Makolo nthawi zonse amayesa kusamalira ana awo, ndipo izi sizosadabwitsa. Ena ali opambana pantchitoyi yomwe sazindikira chilichonse, amasiya moyo wawo. Amakhudzidwa ndi nkhawa kwa mwana wawo, chilakolako choteteza ndi kumuteteza m'njira iliyonse. Pokhudzana ndi kuzindikira kuti mwanayo wakhala wamkulu, bambo ndi mayi nthawi zambiri amatha, sadziwa zomwe angawatsogolere tsopano. Mawu okhudza makolo omwe ali ndi tanthauzo amavumbulutsa vuto lenileni la kumasula ana awo. Kulola achinyamata kuti achoke, okwatiranawo amanganso mgwirizano womwe ulipo, amaphunzira kumvetsetsa, kuleza mtima.

"Ana ambiri akusowa zitsanzo kuti azitsanzira osati kutsutsa" (Carolyn Kotz)

Nthawi zina zimawoneka kuti makolo sangathe kuwombera ana awo. Zikuwoneka kuti ambiri amachita chilichonse cholakwika, ngati kuti ali oleza mtima. Ndipotu, ana amafunika kukhala ndi chitsanzo chabwino pamaso pawo . Ayenera kudalira zitsanzo zina kuti aphunzire momwe angamangire chitsanzo chawo cha khalidwe pazochitika zina. Kudzudzula ife timapha mwa iwo chilakolako cha kudzidziwa, timakakamiza kuchotsa zolinga ndi maloto aakulu kwambiri.

Ndemanga za makolo zimathandiza kumvetsetsa zomwe zimatengera kukhala chitsanzo chabwino kwa ana, chomwe chingakhale chonyada. Ana ali ochenjera kwambiri kuposa momwe angaoneke: amasiyanitsa mosavuta choonadi ndi mabodza, amasonyeza malingaliro enieni, mosasamala kanthu momwe anthu apamtima akuyesera kuwabisa.

"Palibe mwayi wapamwamba ndi udindo mu moyo kuposa kulera kwa m'badwo wotsatira" (Everett Kup)

Moyo wopanda ana ukhoza kuwoneka wosasangalatsa, wopanda tanthauzo lililonse. Anthu achikulire amafunika kusamalira munthu wamng'ono ndi wopanda chitetezo. Apo ayi, amayamba kudziona kuti ndi opanda pake komanso osadziwika. Kuwongolera za makolo kumathandizira kuzindikira kuti pakakuleredwa kwa mwana wako, wina ayenera kuika mphamvu ndi mphamvu. Osapatula nthawi, kudula maola omasuka ndikuwapatulira kwa mwanayo. M'tsogolomu mudzakumbukira nthawi zabwino izi zomwe mwakhala pamodzi.

"Chikondi ndi ulemu ndizofunikira kwambiri pa ubale ndi maubwenzi ena onse" (Jodie Foster)

Ndizigawo ziwirizi zomwe zimadalira. Palibe mgwirizano wogwira mtima womwe sungathe kuchita popanda kusamalira mwana wanu mosamala kwambiri. Kuganizira zosowa za mwana wanu kumatanthauza, poyamba, kudzilemekeza. Kukhala kholo ndi udindo waukulu kwambiri komanso nthawi yomweyo dalitso lalikulu.

Kukhala bambo kapena amayi, munthu amasintha moyo wake wonse, sangathe kukhala chimodzimodzi. Malingaliro onena za kulera ana kwa makolo amasonyeza lingaliro lalikulu la kugwirizana kulikonse: kukhala woona mtima ndi omasuka, kugwira ntchito pa zofooka zawo, kuti apereke chitsanzo chabwino chotsanzira. Ndi ana, muyenera kumachita mwachibadwa komanso mwangotheka, osaiwala kuganizira makhalidwe awo.

"Maphunziro ndi, choyamba, khulupirirani" (Kevin Heath)

Sizingatheke kuti mwanayo achite ntchito zina, ngati simukuzichita nokha. Pakati pa makolo ndi ana, chidaliro chiyenera kukhazikitsidwa, chomwe chingalolere kumvetsetsa kwakukulu kwa zonse zomwe zikuchitika m'banja. Pamene pali chikhumbo chokhala pamodzi, zolinga zazikulu zimamangidwa ndi zokha, zochitika zabwino zimawonekera. Chidaliro chimayambitsa yankho. Kotero, mwanayo amaphunzira mosamala ndi udindo wochiza dziko lapansi.

Mavesi ambiri otseguka okhudza makolo. Mawu okongola ali ndi tanthauzo lakuya. Ndikofunika osati kungowawamvetsa, koma kuwatsatira, kuti achitepo kanthu. Chidaliro chimatha kuthana ndi zopinga zilizonse, kuthetsa mavuto osiyanasiyana a maganizo, kugonjetsa pamwamba, zomwe sizinawonekere. Musawope kukonda ana anu, kuwawitsani mtima wanu, ndi kuwawatsimikizira maloto anu obisika. Posakhalitsa mudzazindikira kuti mwana wanu amakuchitirani ndi chidaliro chomwecho, amamuuza mosavuta zonse zomwe zimamuchitikira.

"Pamene ana ayamba kufunsa mafunso, makolo amadziwa kuti sakudziwa pang'ono" (Richard L. Evans)

Kuzindikiridwa kwa dziko kumayambira ndi kudzidzimva. Ndipo izi zimachitika pamene pamutu wa mwanayo mafunso ambiri amapangidwa. Inde, nthawi yomweyo amathamangira kukafunsa makolo awo, akudalira mphamvu zawo zonse. Amayi ndi abambo, mwatsoka, sangathe kuwayankha moona mtima momwe angathere, ngati chifukwa chakuti sadziwa zowona za malingaliro awo. Makolo nthawi zambiri amataya ana akamayesa kuwafunsa mafunso osavuta. Izi zimapangitsa iwo kukhala ndi mantha kwambiri, samanena zomwe amaganiza, ndi kuchita zonse zomwe angathe kuti asayankhe.

Mitu yokhudza makolo ndi yokongola, ndi tanthauzo. Amaonetsa vuto la kusadziwa zinthu zina zoyambirira. Kawirikawiri, abambo ndi amai amanyazi pamene mwanayo akufunsa mafunso ambiri. Ndikofunika kuphunzira kukhala woona mtima ndi ana, kuwapatsa chidziwitso m'mayeso. Dziwani kuti mwanayo sasowa ndondomeko yochokera pang'onopang'ono kuchokera kwa inu, akungofuna kukhutiritsa chidwi chake. Iye sali wokondweretsedwa konse pa mbali zonse za chinthu kapena chodabwitsa, iye akuyenera kudziwa chinachake chapadera. Ntchito ya makolo ndi kumupatsa zomwe akufunsani.

"Makolo ndi Mulungu wa Ana" (William Shakespeare)

Mwanayo amadalira pa chilichonse mwa abambo ndi amayi ake. Iye amafunikiradi thandizo komanso kutenga nawo mbali kwa anthu apamtima, iye yekha sangathe kuthana ndi mavuto onse. Kukula, ana amaphunzira zinthu zambiri, zomwe zimaperekedwa kwa iwo ndi makolo awo. Mawu a anthu ammudzi amakhudzidwa kwambiri pa iwo kuti samawaika pa kukayikira kulikonse. Mwanayo amakhulupirira nthawi zonse kuti makolo ake ndi amodzi, popeza ali ndi zabwino komanso zodabwitsa kwambiri. Chiwonetserochi chimathandiza kupanga munthu wamng'ono kudalira dziko lapansi, kukhala ndi chidwi kwa ena.

Mfundo za makolo a anthu akulu, monga izi, zimalimbikitsa kukhala ndi mtima wabwino mkati mwake. Kukula kwathunthu kwa umunthu sikungatheke popanda chikhulupiriro cholimba ndi kulingalira kwa munthu aliyense. Anthu anzeru, monga lamulo, nthawi zonse amayesetsa kupereka mwana wawo bwino kwambiri.

"Palibe chikondi choterocho monga makolo ali nacho kwa ana awo" (Henry Ward Beecher)

Mfundo za m'banja zimaperekedwa kuchokera ku mibadwomibadwo. Ngati bambo ndi mayi amachitira ulemu wina ndi mzake, amaphunzitsa ana kukhala ndi maganizo oyenera kudziko. Mwana woteroyo adzalandira ena, kumanga ubale ndi ubale mtsogolo. Ana akamakula, amakhala ndi chikhalidwe chawo, koma sali osowa m'banja lawo. M'kupita kwa nthaŵi, makolo ndi ana angakhale ndi ubwenzi wolimba. Idzakula ndi zaka ndikupangitsa aliyense kukhala wosangalala.

"Musayese kuti mwana wanu akhale wangwiro, muyenera kugwira ntchito pa ubale ndi iye" (Dr. Henker)

Chilakolako cha kupambana ndi chikhalidwe cha umunthu. Zindikirani kuti nthawi zambiri sitimakhutira ndi zotsatira za zoyesayesa zathu. Njira iyi siingasamalire ku maubwenzi ndi ana. Mwanayo ayenera kumverera kuti timamukonda mopanda malire, osati chifukwa cha umunthu wina aliyense. Muyenera kuphunzira kulandira mwana wanu kwathunthu komanso mosagwirizana. Chikhumbo chofuna kukwaniritsa choyenerera nthawi zambiri chimayesedwa ndi kukayikira kwakukulu. Kuti mukhale ndi umunthu wolimba, nkofunika kuthandiza mwanayo kuti atsegule zomwe angathe. Pomwepo iye amazindikira m'moyo zonse zomwe angathe, adzawulula zopezeka zonse.

Motero, malemba okhudza chikondi cha makolo amawonetsa mavuto ambiri omwe anthu amakumana nawo pakupanga banja. Kulera ana si ntchito yophweka, koma ili ndi mphoto yabwino. Pali chitsanzo china: Makolo ambiri amakonda mwana wawo, choncho amamvetsera mwachidwi m'tsogolo.